


Just two weeks

by Soybean_0514



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, I am cringing as I write this, all krama cliches mixed together, cliché as fuck, it's cringy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soybean_0514/pseuds/Soybean_0514
Summary: "That one." I.M said in his low voice pointing straight at me. As I didn't step up he rephrased," The one in the all black cap,hoodie, leggings, and tennis shoes." Crap why him. Great stuck with I.M/Im Changkyun/Daniel Im. Every girl trainee looked envious meanwhile I was just embarrassed. Why him as my mentor? It could have been Jooheon or any other mentor but him. We walked toward the recording studio. Well more like he was dragging me to the recording room as if I was a prisoner. He looked at me and sighed," I only picked you because you seemed like you were struggling with rap. Last time I heard you, you were a hot mess." Wow. Nice way to motivate someone. He went on," I am going to make you improve. Got that? Don't embarrass me."*DISCLAIMER* This is 100% made up and we all know Changkyun is a nice person.If you don't like seeing Changkyun dating another girl or Changkyun acting like a literal dick please do not click. Also this is your typical "I MIXED ALL THE KDRAMA CLICHE TOGETHER BULLSHIT" I actually took my Korean ass to watch through the most cliche, cringy and popular kdramas to ensure your super predictable cliche crap.  I wanted to slap myself for getting on my own nerves.
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 10





	1. Talk about shitty mentors

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thanks for reading!This fanfic is completely made up and just for fun and amusement. Leave a Kudo or if there are any questions feel free to ask in the comments. Hopefully Starship won't sue me! I don't know how many chapters this fanfic will have but definitely more than 10. I made this fanfic to take my head off of my other fanfic "Ctrl+Z" and make one a little different.Every week I will be changing Point of Views.Enjoy!
> 
> Also yes this is your typical "The guy is super mean because of something that happened in the past between them so he's really cold toward her. The girl is super powerless and comes out as the really quiet, can't stand up for herself character." This can get very frustrating but you know what? THAT'S HOW MY COUNTRY'S KDRAMA'S WORK! Anyhow thanks for sitting through all the bullshit I'm writing and get ready for one long fanfic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jen-A 16 year old teenager who is an idol trainee. She had an incident with I.M before so is on his bad side.  
> I.M- A pretty demanding idol who is even more harsh to the people he has a problem with. Still a lot of trainees like him because of his looks.  
> Jooheon- A nice sunbae who is well-liked among the trainees because of his nice personality and looks  
> Sooji-The daughter of the chairman of Starship. This should explain why everyone is always on her side. She has a pretty face but doesn't have much skills. She can't sing nor dance so they put her in the rappers position but she can't rap either.  
> Jisoo-Jen's long time friend that isn't a trainee but goes to the same school as her.

11-24-2015  
I glanced at my watch which read 7:27 a.m. "Right on time." I thought as I walked into the building of Starship. I walked into the training room and started stretching as other trainees filed into the room. As we were stretching, our vocal instructor came in the room and announced  
"For the next week y'all will have mentors for studying and getting critiques on your skills. The mentors will be rappers and vocalists from groups that have already debuted. Groups like Sistar,Monsta X, and other groups and singers."  
All the trainees started buzzing excitedly as the mentors came in. I looked up until I made eye contact with him. I.M also known as Im Changkyun or Daniel Im whatever you wanted to call him. Shit. Well I am fucked if he chooses me. The mentors all came in standing in front of the mirrors. Everybody shushed down and Soyou started by saying,

"Well I'm honored to be teaching some of y'all vocalists for the next two weeks so now I want all vocalists to get onto one side and rappers on the other."

There were around fifteen vocalists but only 5 rappers which explained the ratio of the mentors. We had 4 rapper mentors and 13 vocal mentors. This meant some mentors took 2 trainees. Soyou explained that we were going to talk to some of the mentors we had interest in when I.M intercepted and spoke up," If I have someone in mind can I pick her right now?" Soyou seemed surprised since normally I.M wasn't that quick to choose someone but answered with a quick yes.

Right then,"That one." I.M said in his low voice pointing straight at me.As I didn't step up he rephrased," The one in the all black cap,hoodie, leggings, and tennis shoes." Crap why him. Great stuck with I.M/Im Changkyun/Daniel Im. Every girl trainee looked envious meanwhile I was just embarrassed. I walked slowly up to him and he took me and walked out of the room. Why him as my mentor? It could have been Jooheon or any other mentor but him. We walked toward the recording studio. Well more like he was dragging me to the recording room as if I was a prisoner.

As we sat down I asked him," You dissed me last time and called me out in the middle of practice.Why did you pick me?You said I was going to be a pain to train." He looked at me and sighed," I only picked you because you seemed like you were struggling with everything. Last time I heard you, you were a hot mess." Wow. Nice way to motivate someone. He went on," I am going to make you improve. Got that? Don't embarrass me."  
Then he turned on the computer and set up the system and after testing it, he tossed me the headphones. I reluctantly put them on. He turned on the track for one of his songs guessing I knew the lyrics which I did. I started rapping but after hearing 8 beats of rap he paused the track and muttered,

"Wow I've never heard someone this bad. How can you be this bad? How old are you again?" he asked as he read through the packet with my information as a trainee.I answered quietly," 15 now turning 16 in one month." He looked at me," Ok you're now 16 and have been a trainee for around 4 and a half years which means you've been a trainee for the second longest from all the trainees but you don't have much skills.Explains why you haven't been able to debut even after 4 and a half years." I looked down in shame not replying but I could feel my face grow red. He went on," Aren't you embarrassed? The girl named Sooji is a trainee that is likely to debut after just a year and a half." His words hurt me like bullets but I wasn't going to cry because he would probably go around nagging about me being too weak. I was right," Don't you dare cry in front of me.You have better things to cry about. It's just the truth it seems like a vocalist would be better at rap than you.I mean come on Jen take in the truth." I looked at him ," I wasn't crying and I wasn't planning on it either." I replied annoyed. He calmly responded saying,"I guess you only have an over-inflated ego.That's not good." Oh my God what a bitch. Then we had another 30 something recording and he had a problem with every recording." You're too quiet,you don't have any emotion,are you reading off a book, I just don't like the tone in this one,I think it's just you at this point."and we went on for another 2 and a half hours until Jooheon came in and said,

"Changkyun you are 30 minutes late.We have to go." He replied," It's not my fault that Jen right here can't get anything right." shooting me a dirty look. Jooheon looked shocked and said," Changkyun why are you so rude? Come on she's 16 if I knew you were going to be this rude I would have chosen her to be my trainee." He gave me an apologetic look and continued," Sorry Jen, he isn't normally like this." Then I.M shouted back," Yeah I'm normally not like this because NORMALLY trainees aren't this bad.ESPECIALLY trainees who have 4 and a half years of experience." Jooheon sat him down and shot him a look that made I.M shut up.I knew I was close to crying because I felt my bottom lip tremble. Jooheon told Changkyun, "Hey watch your mouth.Okay Jen let's hear it." I sighed and started as Jooheon started the track. He seemed shocked and said," Changkyun really? She's good at the worst she is okay.Have you seen my trainee she couldn't even keep up with the beats." Changkyun didn't say anything and Jooheon continued," Anyways wrap it up in 20 minutes." and left. We stayed there silent for a minute until I asked him," Why are you picking on me? You were nice to the other trainees Why is it just me? Is it because of that incident? I already apologized." He glared," Yeah you apologized but the whole world found out you know how hard it was to make the company believe me?" I replied angrily," Well how was I supposed to know that you were making out in the training room.And it's not the whole world.I saw you walking toward there so I told your manager." I.M rolled his eyes and said,"Well get it together by tomorrow." and left out the door.Talk about shitty mentors.

I stomped out and walked into the training room which was going to be empty for the day. I was glad because normally it was really hard to have a room empty and not occupied. It had been around 3 hours since I had been practicing until the door opened and Wonho walked in. He looked shocked,"Hi. Sorry if I scared you, but the speaker in our training room isn't working so we are going to need the room." I was annoyed but I just replied," Yeah sure I don't mind I was almost finished anyways. Let me just get my bag." I reached out for my bag as Wonho greeted," Hey Dany this room was empty!" Shit. I.M walked in and made eye contact. It wouldn't be I.M if he just let me go so of course he asked," Hey Jen. What are you doing here? You shouldn't be focusing on dancing because your rap is a mess so let's fix everything one by one. If I heard my comments I said today from a mentor, I would be in the recording studio trying to fix my errors." and smiled sweetly. I just rolled my eyes and walked out toward the recording studio as Wonho yelled at I.M.

I went into the empty room and put my head down and groaned before turning on the system. I went to the vending machine to get a bottled water.Crap of course it had to just get stuck. I groaned since that was my last 50 cents I had for the rest of the week.I was a trainee so I only got 7,000 won a week. I was about to turn around and go into the studio until I bumped into a familiar figure. I found myself right in front of I.M who looked down at me. He calmly got himself a bottle of water which pushed my water bottle out along with his. He called out to me and tossed me my water bottle and said bluntly,"The last two recordings were fine, you just sounded a little dry. Go home and rest for today.Make sure you drink a lot of water too." and walked back. This bitch. If it was okay why was he-never mind. I walked into the recording studio and decided to try once more. I listened to it but it sounded weak. The next one was too quiet. The next one didn't have emotion. The next one-"I think I told you to go home" I turned around and saw I.M at the door with his arms crossed.I mumbled,"Um I was-" but he interrupted,"Go home." I tried to quickly think of an excuse so he wouldn't know his words got to me but he beat me to it," Is it really because I said that in the other room? Come on I thought you had an ego." I stammered,"No, I...I uh." Then he just walked off. I stayed for a while just trying to get it right. Well I practiced until someone took my headphones off my head and whispered surprisingly warmly,

"Go home and rest.Don't overwork yourself.You were fine today." I looked up to Jooheon stunned and he handed me my sweater and whispered once again," You left this in the other room.It's cold outside. Sorry about today I should have stood up for you a little more.I admit it he was really harsh today. Don't let him get to you." I obeyed his words and walked out. He was right, it was cold outside. I trudged through the cold streets and walked into the dorm. I must have woken one of the trainees up because she came out half-awake and murmured,"Oh you're here." and walked back into the room and the oldest trainee came out,"Jen you're late.Not that it surprises me since you always are. Why are you late? Busy flirting with your new mentor? Retarded bitch" and walked back in. I sighed and quickly changed and got ready to sleep. By the time I got into bed it was 1:37. I set my alarm for six in the morning and fell asleep.  
I woke up at 6 and got breakfast ready for all the trainees and left the house by 7:10. I walked into the building and warmed my voice up so I wouldn't get nagged at by him again. I was still really tired as I got the system on so I put in my earbuds to wake myself up. After around five minutes I.M came in and sat in the chair next to me. I quickly took off my earbuds and muttered,"Morning." and got the track ready. I was about to start when Sooji came in,"Hi I.M sunbae! Jooheon sunbae has a schedule so I'm with you today!" in her usual perky voice. I.M uncomfortably agreed,"Sure um have a seat and let's take a look at your rapping." she nodded and as the track started she started rapping and at the end she looked at I.M with eyes full of expectations. He cleared his throat,"Well I have to say, I thought Jen was bad but I guess there was someone worse than her right here. Please don't rely on your looks to become an idol.A rapper is not what bad singers do.It's a role for good rappers. I think I made an excellent choice choosing Jen as my trainee."


	2. Is she that bad?

11-13-15  
I walked into the meeting room with Jooheon, Kihyun, Hyungwon, Minyuk and Wonho hyung. Jooheon hyung and I were given 5 pieces of paper with all the idol trainees that were rappers.I looked through all the papers until my eye caught something. The paper read “Name-Han Soo ah. Stage name-Jen. Birth Date-12/21/1999”. I remembered her-2015/6/17- I had a girl from before debuting but she was a trainee still. I was making out with her in the training room no-one uses until my manager Jiho came in. Behind him there was a trainee who was the one that snitched. I looked at the paper closely and I knew it was her.

“Changkyun….Changkyun?” Jooheon tapped me on the shoulder,” Are you going to go with her?”I replied hastily,  
”Nope she’s really bad.”

We kept looking through papers until we had to get going. In the car Kihyun, Minhyuk, Hyungwon, Wonho and Jooheon were talking about who they were going to choose next week. I leaned against the window and thought of who I was going to choose. I kept thinking but all that came to mind was that incident from 5 months ago. I decided I was going to choose her to make her improve and at the same time give her a little bit of a hard time. It wasn’t really revenge but if that’s what you want to call it go ahead.

11-24-15  
I walked out of my dorm ready and out by 7:00. I walked up to the building and went into my usual recording room. I tried to finish up as much as I could with our comeback coming up. I wrapped things up as my phone chimed signaling 7:40. I walked into room 37 which was upstairs. I walked in with my members and as I walked in we made eye contact. Judging by the look on her face she still remembered the incident. Good. I was going to make her regret it. When we all entered Soyou started us off,

"Well I'm honored to be teaching some of y'all vocalists for the next two weeks so now I want all vocalists to get onto one side and rappers on the other."

She wanted all of us to talk with the trainees and get to know each other but I already made up my mind."If I have someone in mind can I pick her right now?" Soyou looked shocked but blurted out a yes. I pointed at her,

"That one." I stated but she didn’t stand up.She just sat there like an idiot so I rephrased," The one in the all black cap,hoodie, leggings, and tennis shoes." 

She reluctantly stood up and I grabbed her wrist and walked out dragging her behind me. As we sat down and I turned on the computer. She stared at me and I gave her a glare and she managed to spit out,

"You dissed me last time and called me out in the middle of practice.Why did you pick me?You said I was going to be a pain to train." I sighed,  
" I only picked you because you seemed like you were struggling with everything. Last time I heard you, you were a hot mess.I am going to make you improve. Got that? Don't embarrass me." I hit her with those words with no regret and tossed her the headphones. I wasn’t going to go easy on her. I normally am demanding but she was really going to get a taste of hell in the next two weeks. I tested the system and turned on whatever track assuming she knew the lyrics. She should know it. She put the headphones on and started  
I wasn’t going to stop right here,

"Wow I've never heard someone this bad. How can you be this bad? How old are you again?" She looked really hurt but I didn’t care much. She answered in a small voice,”15 turning 16 in a month” I attacked her once more .”Ok you're now 16 and have been a trainee for around 4 and a half years which means you've been a trainee for the second longest from all the trainees but you don't have much skills. Explains why you haven't been able to debut even after 4 and a half years.” She bowed her head down but I could see her face grow red. I saw her eyes were getting a little red too. I wasn’t and didn’t need to have anyone cry in front of me so I shot her down again,

" Don't you dare cry in front of me.You have better things to cry about. It's just the truth it seems like a vocalist would be better at rap than you.I mean come on Jen take in the truth.” That had to hurt really bad. However she replied," I wasn't crying and I wasn't planning on it either." I liked her though. She was actually decent whether I wanted to admit it or not and she had a strong personality. At this point it was more of me making fun of her trying to get on her nerves. "I guess you only have an over-inflated ego.That's not good." I told her in a smug tone. We went on for a few more recordings with her trying her best and me being a complete bastard and kicking her down and nitpicked. However I started training her a little more seriously. That was until Jooheon broke me out of mentor mode,

” Changkyun we’re 30 minutes late. We have to go.” I was still fuming over the incident,”" It's not my fault that Jen right here can't get anything right." and shooted her a dirty look. Jooheon tried to stop me and looked shocked so he said " Changkyun why are you so rude? Come on she's 16 if I knew you were going to be this rude I would have chosen her to be my trainee. Sorry Jen, he isn't normally like this." I laid back in my chair crossing my arms ," Yeah I'm normally not like this because NORMALLY trainees aren't this bad.ESPECIALLY trainees who have 4 and a half years of experience." Jooheon shot me a look warning me to stop.I could see her lips trembling as Jooheon told me,

"Hey watch your mouth.Okay Jen let's hear it." As Jooheon started the track she started. He seemed shocked and said," Changkyun really? She's good at the worst she is okay.Have you seen my trainee she couldn't even keep up with the beats." I didn't say anything since I didn’t have anything to say back and Jooheon continued," Anyways wrap it up in 20 minutes." and left. I stayed quiet and so did she until she questioned,

" Why are you picking on me? You were nice to the other trainees Why is it just me? Is it because of that incident? I already apologized.”I looked at her in an annoyed way" Yeah you apologized but the whole world found out you know how hard it was to make the company believe me?" I guess she was done with me too when she raged back at me," Well how was I supposed to know that you were making out in the training room.And it's not the whole world.I saw you walking toward there so I told your manager." I rolled my eyes, not believing a word and said,"Well, get it together by tomorrow." and I walked out.

I met Wonho in the hallway and we went to our usual practice room where everyone was practicing for our comeback. Suddenly the speakers started malfunctioning and ended up not working. We were searching for any other empty rooms until I heard Wonho hyung call me,”Hey Dany this room is empty!" I walked into the room to find Jen reaching for her bag that was lying by the entrance of the room. I looked at her and smirked,” Hey Jen. What are you doing here? You shouldn't be focusing on dancing because your rap is a mess so let's fix everything one by one. If I heard my comments I said today from a mentor, I would be in the recording studio trying to fix my errors." She looked really annoyed and angry as she rolled her eyes and walked out without saying a word. Wonho gaped at me and snapped back into reality and started lecturing,”Changkyun what the hell? Why are you so rude to her? What’s your problem?” I silently walked to my place and started practicing.

We were given a break after 15 minutes and everybody started talking about mentoring. Kihyun started,” My trainee is pretty good.She nailed those high notes.” Jooheon took over,” My trainee is not bad but she isn’t good either. She keeps missing certain beats and sometimes her diction can get pretty bad.” Wonho laughed,” Well I think all the trainees would be good. They all looked pretty too!” Hyungwon sighed,”Hyung you’re too nice.” Minhyuk continued,” My trainee is pretty and she is really good. I heard she is going to be the main dancer….” Right then they turned toward me,

“What about your trainee?” I looked at them who were all waiting for my answer. I stayed blank until Jooheon answered for me,” Do you think he has ever complimented anybody? You shouldn’t be asking him since he would just answer,”Oh she is too quiet,Oh she doesn’t have emotion, oh she is reading off a book.” Jooheon mocked. I glared at him and walked out. Jooheon yelled after me,” Hey, you mad? Where are you going?” I growled back,”I’m going to the damn vending machine!” I stomped out.

When I reached the vending machine, there was Jen in front of the machine. I stood behind her waiting for her to finish until her water bottle got stuck. She groaned loudly. I felt sorry for her since I knew that you didn’t get much money a week but I stayed silent. Then she turned around and bumped right into me. Well more like slipped? Which caused her to fall and me catching her into my arms.Did I mention this girl is only like 5 feet? She looked startled and looked up as I looked down at her. I moved out of her way and got myself a water bottle which pushed her bottle out along with mine. I grabbed both and called for her, tossing the water bottle toward her. I thought about what Jooheon and Wonho lectured me about. Maybe she did have talent. I said pretty bluntly (but that was my regular tone of talking),"The last two recordings were fine, you just sounded a little dry. Go home and rest for today.Make sure you drink a lot of water too." and walked back to my training room.

We practiced for another 40 minutes until our instructor dismissed us. I was walking to the end of the hallway when I heard her voice. I thought to myself,”Is she still here because of me?” and thought through all my actions and I decided I was being pretty petty over a stupid reason.I swung open the door and leaned against the door frame.I demanded in a rather sly tone,"I think I told you to go home" She looked apalled and stuttered,”Um I was” I didn’t want to hear the rest ,”Go home.” I knew I had won and had gotten the best of her," Is it really because I said that in the other room? Come on I thought you had an ego." I left without giving her time to spit out an excuse. I walked down the hallway down to the elevator and smiled to myself,”Cute.”

I walked in the recording room at 7:28 surprised that Jen was already here. She certainly didn’t really look like the type who would be on time and certainly even more so not the type who would be here earlier. She mumbled something that sounded like “morning” and got the track ready. She was about to start when the door swung open loudly. A girl (who I think was Soobin? Or was it Soojin?) walked in looking like she was ready to be on the cover of a magazine.Come on you were just getting teached not taking a photoshoot. Both me and Jen had a cap, sweater sweatpants and glasses on while she had a blouse, skirt, and high heels on. I rolled my eyes waiting to hear what she wanted. She said in an irritating perky voice,”Hi I.M sunbae! Jooheon sunbae has a schedule so I'm with you today!" I uncomfortably shifted in my seat and agreed because obviously I can’t just say no since Bora already had two trainees and the rest of the two had a schedule. I told her in a straining voice,”"Sure um have a seat and let's take a look at your rapping." As she started rapping I realised that Jooheon was right this girl really couldn’t keep up with beats. When she finished she looked at me with twinkling eyes expecting me to compliment her. I gave her the critique she earned,"Well I have to say, I thought Jen was bad but I guess there was someone worse than her right here. Please don't rely on your looks to become an idol.A rapper is not what bad singers do.It's a role for good rappers. I think I made an excellent choice choosing Jen as my trainee."


	3. Go on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These fanfic chapters are gonna be kinda short because I'm posting twice a week on Wednesdays and Saturday.  
> Korean words you might not understand:  
> Sunbae- is a word that refers to people with more experience (at work, school, etc)  
> Trainee- A idol trainee is someone who is getting trained to be an idol but not yet an idol. Typically because of age and skills.  
> Hoobae-(후배, 後輩) refers to people with less experience. Generally, hoobaes have to use jondaetmal(존댓말, honorific language) to sunbaes, meaning they have to speak very politely and treat them with respect.

11-25-15 (3rd person’s view)  
They both stared at I.M who shrugged like nothing was wrong. ”You’re up, Jen.” That was all he said. Sooji scoffed, ”Are you really going to disrespect me like that? Do you even know who I am?” I.M didn’t even give Sooji a look as he replied, ”First of all, no, I never disrespected you. It was closer to an honest critique. Secondly, I don’t know how Jooheon hyung dealt with you. Third of all, no, I don’t know who you are, nor am I interested in who you are, nor did I ask to know who you are. Now if you will excuse me, I have another trainee here to deal with.” Astounded, Sooji glared at I.M and stomped out. I.M sighed and told Jen, ”Get back at it.” Jen slowly reached for the headphones until I.M opened his mouth to say, “Come on, we don’t have all the time in the world.” The practice went on for another hour until I.M had to leave for his practice.

After her session with I.M, Jen walked into the choreograph training room and started stretching. As the rest of the trainees walked in, she looked away to avoid eye contact with the other trainees. She could hear Sooji’s voice through her earphones saying, ”Oh my god, that bitch is so annoying. I was in the same room as her when during my vocal training, and I’m sure that slut was flirting with I.M sunbae to help her debut. I mean I guess it depends what she wanted more: a good-looking guy or help to debut. Anyways, she is so fucking annoying.” Her friends replied with stuff like, “Oh my god Sooji, I feel so bad for you!”, “Does he even know who you are? Who is he to judge you like that!”, “What a slut! I never liked her anyways. What would you like us to do?” Then she pulled her group to the corner of the room and continued gossiping, staring at Jen every two seconds.

~Monsta X’s training room~  
I.M walked into the practice room with Wonho. Jooheon soon caught up with them and apologized to I.M, “Sorry Changkyun, I forgot to tell you about Sooji but I had a schedule. Thanks for watching over her today.” I replied carelessly, “She left after 3 minutes.She also complained and asked if I knew who she was. She was really arrogant.” Jooheon’s eyes widened, “You what? Why would you let her do that? Do you actually know who she is?” I.M just stared at Jooheon and asked back, “Alright, let’s hear it. Who exactly is Little Miss Bitchass?” Jooheon replied, “She’s the daughter of our company’s chairman, you little punk.” I.M’s expression didn’t change a bit. Instead, he replied hastily, “Eh, I don’t give a shit about it. That’s not that big of a deal.” Jooheon huffed out of irritation. As the rest of the members walked in, Jooheon mumbled, “Whatever, you’re always like this.” Kihyun came in last, causing us to quiet down.

~2 hrs later~  
Practice surprisingly ended early for the trainees and Jen quickly walked out. She jogged over to a nearby cafe and was greeted by her longtime friend, Jisoo. Jisoo greeted her and asked how Jen was doing. “Hey! Oh my god, we haven’t seen each other in ages! What have you been doing so far?” Jen replied, “You know, just practicing and getting training. We started having mentors yesterday.” Jisoo’s eyes twinkled at the word ‘mentors’. She squealed, “That is so cool! Who is your mentor? Is it a guy?” Jen looked down at her drink and sighed, “Yes, it’s a guy, but not any normal guy. He’s a complete bastard. If you know I.M from Monsta X, he’s my mentor. He is so rude and obnoxious! I fucking hate him.” Jisoo laughed. “Hey, how bad could it be? At least you have a good-looking mentor.” Jen rolled her eyes and retorted, “You don’t get it. He’s literally so annoying. He was complaining about everything I was doing. He was like, ‘Oh, you don’t have emotion’, ‘your diction is bad’, and dissed me that I was ‘reading off a book’. He is too strict.” Jisoo assured Jen, ”Ok, I get it, he’s really irritating. Anything else though?” Jen didn’t stop and continued ranting, “And you know what he said later that day? He told me the recordings were actually fine! I mean, who the fuck does that? The worst part is that I can’t say anything back. Wait, why can’t I say something back?” Jen stopped complaining as she saw her friend’s astonished face. Jen looked at her confused, “Why? What’s wrong?” Jisoo muttered, “Behind you..” Jen felt a sharp tap on her shoulder. Jen turned around, only to find I.M behind her looking straight into her eyes. He gave me a smirk and opened his mouth to slyly ask, ”I’m obnoxious, rude, and what else did you say? Go on.”


	4. OH.NO.HE.DIDN'T.

11-25-15 (Jen)  
I turned around to find I.M staring down at me with a smirk on his face, “I’m obnoxious, rude, and what else did you say? Go on.” My entire mind went blank and I had nothing to say back to him. He commanded in a low tone and signaled with his finger, “You follow me.” I trailed behind him to a table in the corner of the cafe. I sat down with my head bowed down, avoiding eye contact. He sneered, “Okay, go on. What else did you want to say to me?” I didn’t have much to say, so I kept hanging my head down and murmured, “I’m sorry. I really am sorry. This will never happen again." I knew that he was enjoying every moment of this; I saw him leaning back in his chair with a sly smirk. He continued, “How do I know it is never going to happen again? Come on, what else about me? You had so much confidence in your voice over there. Are you running out of confidence, or are you scared?” Something in me snapped as he kept taunting me. I stood up and raised my voice and shot back, “Fine, since you want to know so badly. I said that you were an obnoxious, rude, and annoying bastard. Are you satisfied now?” He looked flabbergasted, but I was surprised that I had raised my voice like that. I was instantly regretting every word I had spit out toward him. I quickly sat back down and in an instant, I was apologizing to him. However, to my surprise, he admitted, “I guess I was pretty rude. I’m sorry.”

I shifted uneasily in my seat; in my head, I knew he was lying to me. I knew this bastard was lying and was going to act the same bitchy way he has been treating me since yesterday. This guy was honestly getting too comfortable with me when we’ve only actually known each other for, like 39 hours. He got up and left the cafe. I sat there blankly until an employee informed me that the cafe was going to close in 5 minutes. I grabbed my bag and left the cafe. It was 8:49, so I was going to be able to catch a bus. As I walked into my dorm, there were a bunch of girls sitting around, laughing together. They each all ignored me as I silently walked to my room. There were 13 girls in the dorm and I had the smallest room to myself. I walked in and collapsed onto my bed, thinking how frantic everything was today. I went to my laptop and opened my email. I typed up a quick email saying,

“ Dear I.M sunbae,

Good evening I.M sunbae, I just wanted to apologize for today. I truly am sorry and I promise it will really not happen ever again.” 

A response came within minutes and he responded,

“I said it was fine and I was a little harsh too. It is totally fine^^” 

I growled in frustration and out of fear. I knew this meant that I was fucked for the next-however-long I was going to have to see his snobby-ass fucking face. I closed my laptop and laid down, facing the ceiling. Good thing tomorrow was Wednesday, which meant I was going to be at school until 3:30. I turned off the lights and tried to sleep, but all that ran through my head was what I.M sunbae would do tomorrow. Suddenly I heard my laptop notify me with an email from my instructor,

“Dear Jen,

Hey, sorry for bothering you this late. I forgot to tell you that I.M told me you were really struggling, so you needed additional classes. Therefore, you won’t be going to school tomorrow.” I stared at my screen with my mouth gaping open. OH. NO. HE. DIDN’T.


	5. It's "totally" fine ^^

11-25-15 (I.M’s POV)

My phone vibrated to show a new email. I opened the email from Jen,

“Good evening I.M sunbae, I just wanted to apologize for today. I am truly sorry and I promise it will never happen ever again.” 

This little… nevermind. I typed back a message that was completely opposite of what I wanted to say,

“I said it was fine and I was a little harsh too. It is totally fine ^^” 

This bitch cursed me out in the middle of a café today, so there was no way I was going to let go that easily. I called up her instructor,

“Hello? This is I.M.”

“Oh yes, is there something happening?”

“Well yes, Jen is struggling a lot, so I think she will need additional classes tomorrow.”

“Thank you for notifying me. I will tell Sooah immediately.”

“Yes, thank you for understanding. Have a good evening.”

I walked back to my dorm and laid in bed. Kihyun asked, “Why are you home so late?” I thought of an excuse, “I was getting something on the way home.” I turned toward the wall and soon fell asleep.

I woke up to my alarm ringing at 6:00 and walked into the restroom. Like usual, I was out by 7:00. I walked to the building and waited for Jen. She didn’t show up after 20 minutes or 30 minutes. So I sat there waiting, and before I knew it, I wasted 40 minutes doing nothing. I got up in frustration and walked towards the door. That’s when the door flung open and Jen walked in. She apologised. “I’m sorry sunbae, my alarm didn’t go off.” She looked like she came out in a rush. As usual, she had almost no makeup on. But today, in addition, she had a messy bun and wore glasses. _Cute._ She sat down and reluctantly reached for the headphones. As she started, I paused the track and started nitpicking every nook and cranny, “You’re not putting emotion”, “there isn’t effort”, “you don’t have good diction”. She sighed out of frustration every time I stopped her, but didn’t say anything back. After around 2 hours, we walked into the training room, 10 minutes later than everyone. Kihyun questioned, “Why are y’all always late?” I answered, “Well, Jen here kept making the same mistakes and needed extra training.” I glanced at Jen and saw her, hanging her head low while her face grew red from humiliation. Kihyun gave me a look; I shrugged back in response.

We took our spots in the back of the room as trainees went toward the front. We were to give feedback as the trainees performed. I was going to give Jen a taste of Hell this week. Every 2 minutes, I had an insult to give her during practice. I called her out on multiple occasions until Jooheon held me back after around 25 times. Jooheon muttered, “Stop, Changkyun. You’re acting like a complete dick.” I was forced to remain silent for the rest of the practice. When we were finished, I walked out with my hyungs who were scolding me with my actions. As my hyungs dragged me to our practice room, I saw Jen who walked out with her face red. We had 30 minutes before practice, so most of us either went to the vending machine to buy a bottle of water or went on our phones. As for Jooheon, he walked out for a smoke. I walked into the restroom to wash my hands. As I was washing my hands, Wonho hyung appeared next to me. 

He asked, “Why are you so harsh on that trainee? Did y’all used to date or something?” I replied, “Nope. Besides, I have good taste in girls. She’s just shitty at everything.”, and walked out. As I made my way back to my practice room, I found Jen laughing with Jooheon in front of the vending machine. _Interesting,_ I thought to myself and quietly walked back into the training room.


	6. Play with fire you're gonna get burned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating a little late! Don't forget to leave kudos and comments and if you want to be notified every time I upload, don't forget to subscribe!

11-25-15 (Jen)

When I woke up, I felt strange because it was too sunny to be 6:00. I looked at the clock on my wall to see 7:32. _Shit._ I.M was going to kill me for sure. I jumped out of bed, ran into the restroom, and got ready. I didn’t like applying a lot of makeup, so I usually only wore primer and lip lacquer. Today, I barely had time to change, therefore I couldn’t afford to wear makeup. I tied a messy bun in my hair and decided to just wear glasses, not giving a crap about what I looked like. I walked back into my room and changed into leggings and a sweater. I ran out of the house and sprinted toward the building. I didn’t have time to wait for the elevator, so I darted straight through 4 flights of stairs. I flung open the door and apologized breathlessly, “I’m sorry, I.M sunbae, my alarm didn’t go off.” I reached out for the headphones and started rapping. I was forced to stop after eight beats. _Here we go again._ As expected, he started attacking me with criticism like “you’re not putting emotion”, “there isn’t effort”, and “you don’t have good diction.” I knew he was getting back at me because of yesterday. I knew better than to say anything back, so I ignored it to the best of my ability. I looked at my watch, which showed 10:08. I didn’t really care, since we were always late. When he caught me looking at my watch, he too gave a quick glance at his phone and told me, “Wrap it up”.

We walked in while everyone stared at us. Kihyun asked I.M, “Why are y’all always late?” I.M smirked and answered, “Well, Jen here kept making the same mistakes and needed extra training.”  _ That bastard. _ I kept my head down to cover my face, which was growing hot. I walked toward the front of the room and the other trainees and I started our choreography. However, I.M sunbae stopped us every 2 minutes to give “corrections” to me, which was clearly another excuse of his to publicly humiliate me. He stopped me, and hurled various insults toward me such as, “Why are you getting it wrong every time?”, “Can you not remember anything?”, “Maybe it’s because you’re short, but why can’t you do it like them?”, and “This is why you can’t debut”. As he abused me with his words, I heard the other trainees snicker. During the whole practice, my face was warm from embarrassment and I bit down my lip as hard as I could in an attempt to stop myself from crying. After multiple times of shaming me, Jooheon started holding I.M back.

When practice ended, I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I walked out before my emotions got the best of me. At an impulse, I ran up to the rooftop; I knew I wasn’t going to be found, since rarely anyone came up here unless they had to smoke. I went to the back of the rooftop and my back slid down the rails around the rooftop. I started to cry into my hands. I was so hurt and my heart ached so much. I was crying until I heard the door open.  _ Shit. _ I heard someone and assumed he was on a call, “Kihyun hyung, I’m just out for a quick smoke. Yeah. Mmhmm.” It was Jooheon. I tried to cover my mouth from making any sounds, but I guess Jooheon heard me. He said, “Kihyun hyung, hold on, I’ll call you back later”. He started walking toward where I was hiding and I held my breath in vain attempts to not be caught crying. Against my prayers, he found me and his eyes widened when he saw my state. He kneeled down and looked at me with a worried expression. In a warm voice, he asked, “What’s wro-” He caught himself in the midst of talking and figured, “Oh right, Changkyun. He was a complete dick. As soon as we switch trainees, I’ll take you, okay? Don’t cry.” Hearing his warm voice made me sob harder because I haven’t heard that tone in a while. I kept crying like an idiot and tried talking in between sobs, “I..I-it’s just so hard these days and I can’t do anything right and I just…. I’m so sorry for making you deal with me right now.” He consoled me, wiped my tears away, and once again asked, “Should I turn around?” I sputtered between sobs, “Don’t listen either.” He nodded and turned and put his hands over his ears and waited for me to finish crying. I tugged on his sweater and he turned around, smiling. “You done?” he asked. I smiled back and replied, “Yes, thank you for talking to me. Would you not mention this to...you know, I.M sunbae?” Jooheon assured me, “I promise. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink from the vending machine.” 

We walked back down and he bought me an energy drink from the vending machine. He joked around with me in an attempt to make me laugh. Compared to I.M, Jooheon was always caring and always considered others’ feelings. Soon, he was called back in. Before leaving, he whispered, “If you need help or if you just want to talk, come to room 42. I’ll teach you some tips and tricks.” I looked at the scrap of paper he handed me. It had his room number and email. I stuffed it into my pocket and walked back into the training room. I was greeted by the other trainees who all wore a smirk on their faces.  _ Great. _ Sooji walked up to me and sneered, “Did you have fun flirting with Jooheon sunbae? You retarded slut, why don’t you write on your forehead,  _ ‘desperate for any guy’ _ ?” I knew that talking back was going to make it worse, so I just walked past them. As I walked past Sooji, she whispered in my ear, “You’re gonna be sorry when we get home.” By the time I turned around, she had already left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave kudos,comment and subscribe! It only takes a minute!


	7. Jealousy;the strongest disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I will be having more free time since school is out and I rarely go out during this pandemic. Everybody don't forget to wash your hands after going out, wear your face masks and stay safe! Your health should come first before anything!

11-25-15 (Changkyun) I was heading home from practice when I heard voices coming from Jooheon’s recording studio. I was able to make out Jen’s voice and Jooheon’s voice. I didn’t go in, but I knew what was going on. She was probably getting private lessons from him or something. But who was he to be taking my trainee? I slowly made my way to the end of the hallway, making sure to not make a single noise while walking. I strolled back into my dorm and threw myself onto my bed. I called out to Kihyun who was in the bunk under me and asked,

“How would you feel if a different mentor is training your trainee?”

Kihyun responded,

“I wouldn’t really mind much. I think it would help them get a better view. Besides, we’re going to change trainees eventually, so they might as well get along with possible mentors.”

Right then, Jooheon came into our room and I sarcastically asked,

“So, did you have a nice date?”

Jooheon looked confused and slightly startled as he asked back,

“What date?”

I just sighed and turned to my side, facing the wall. I heard Minhyuk and Kihyun pester Jooheon, asking him about my question. I just shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep. However, as soon as Jooheon left and Kihyun “made sure I was sleeping”, he asked Minhyuk,

“Ever since we got to mentor trainees, don’t you think Changkyun is acting a bit strange?”

Minhyuk answered bluntly,

“I wouldn’t know since I’m not mentoring trainees. Wait a sec, are you trying to rub it in my face that you’re a mentor?”

Kihyun answered in a serious tone,

“No, I wouldn’t go that low to do something like that because I’m not you. Never mind that question, just go to sleep.”

11-26-15 I woke up and did my usual morning routine. I walked up into my recording studio and waited for Jen. Even when the clock hit 7:25, she didn’t show up. _Tf is this kid tryna play with me?_ I got up and walked into the restroom. I was walking back when I heard Jen’s voice. I went down the hallway to see where her voice was coming from and as expected, it was coming from Jooheon’s studio. Out of anger, I stormed into Jooheon’s studio. Their eyes grew large, startled from my intrusion. I gave Jooheon a look and pushed Jen out the door. I exited Jooheon’s room and glared at Jen. I growled under my breath,

“It’s 7:30.”

I then grabbed Jen’s wrist and pulled her into my studio. She took out her wrist rubbing her now-red wrist. I rolled my eyes, annoyed. We had a quick session today, because I had practice in an hour and a half. Today, I went pretty easy on her during the session. When my phone notified me that it was 9, I got up and told her,

“Ok we’ll stop here; I have practice today.”

She nodded and proceeded to save her recordings as I grabbed my phone and left the room.

During the whole practice, I thought about why Jooheon was teaching my trainee. After 2 hours, our practice ended and Jooheon lightly hit me on the shoulder and informed, “Come on, we have to go.” I walked out with him and entered the trainees’ training room. I guess they were taking a quick break, seeing that practically everyone was out of the room except Jen, who was sitting on the floor, reading a textbook. Jooheon smiled, walked over to her, and said, “Hey.” She quickly closed her textbook and grinned,

“Hey Jooheon sunbae!” She glanced at me and added, “.... And I.M sunbae.”

_Wow, playing favoritism, huh?_ Jooheon asked her,

“Where’s everybody else?”

She responded, “We are taking a break right now. I think a few are at a café, but they should be returning soon."

As she finished her sentence, Kihyun and a few other mentors entered the room. I sat down in an empty chair, staring at Jen who was busy studying and taking notes. Soon, all the trainees came in and we started practice. Jen made a few small errors here and there, but once again, I let her slide since they weren’t a big deal. I only had one thing on my mind; it was the possibility that Jen liked Jooheon. Practice ended in a whim and everybody left except for Jen, who was grabbing her bag. Making sure that everyone left the room, I closed the door. I walked up to her, and as she noticed me doing so, she started backing away from me. I soon cornered her and interrogated her,

“You like Jooheon, right?”

She looked shocked for a split second, but quickly maintained her cool and responded,

“No, I don’t. He’s just a sunbae.”

_Haha, sure_. I knew she was lying to me. She started toying with her fingers out of nervousness and blurted,

“If you don’t have anything more to say, I’ll be leaving.”

She pushed me off as she started walking off. I threatened,

“If you take one more step from there, I’m calling Jooheon hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos, comments and subscribe! It only takes a minute! Would y'all like to have music to go along for chapters? Comment below


	8. Hope he doesn't notice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is going to be the start of pure fluff and cringe and you're probably going to hate me for it! Anyways enjoy and this is just to make y'all's quarantine a little more amusing. I'll stop yapping so you can enjoy the chapter already. Don't forget to leave a like and comment.

11-26-15 (Jen)

“If you take one more step from there, I’m calling Jooheon hyung.” I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around. He had his phone out and had Jooheon’s phone number dialed in. I tried to snatch his phone away, but he just held it high above my head. He was like 5’9, so I obviously couldn’t reach it. Right then, he laughed, “Whoops, my finger slipped. My bad.” I froze in place. To make it worse, Jooheon picked up. I was never going to live it down. I just turned for the door, but as I got to the door, I heard that bastard say, “Sorry Hyung, I accidentally butt-dialed you.” I couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked that tears started to flow from my eyes. He squatted and cocked his head to examine my face and asked, “Are you crying?”  _ That was the final straw.  _ I snapped on him, “Yes, I’m fucking crying, but would there be anyone who wouldn’t cry in this situation? Would there be someone who wouldn’t get frustrated or annoyed? I think my reaction right now is very normal. Do you even realize what you’ve done to me? Over the past three days, have you ever treated me like I actually was a person? If you haven’t noticed, I’m a 16 year-old teenager who actually has emotions and feelings too. And I don’t think I’m overreacting. I get it, you’re mad at me so I apologized. But you were still salty and made my life a living Hell. Why do you have to make my already-crappy life now shitty? If you don’t understand, you better think about it tonight to see whether you were being a complete bastard or if I was overreacting. If you don’t have anything more to say to me, I have to go.” I stomped out with tears flowing down my eyes and slammed the door. 

I walked out the room and ran into someone. I quickly muttered, “I’m sorry” and tried to speed walk home. “Jen?’ I turned my head and to my surprise, it was Jooheon sunbae. I quickly wiped off my tears and apologized once again. He approached me and asked, “Jen, why are you dressed so light?” As he draped his scarf around my neck, I blushed and I stammered like a complete idiot, “I...Uhh, thank you.” He nodded, “You’re welcome, see you tomorrow.” As he walked off, I continued heading home. Like he said, it was cold outside. It was getting late and I did have to go home, whether I wanted to or not. I reluctantly trudged home to see all the trainees in the living room. I quickly walked over to my room and closed my door. I collapsed onto my bed, wishing that tonight would pass by quickly.

Remembering that I had exams next month, I opened up my textbook to study. I was taking notes when my door opened without notice. Twelve girls walked in with a smug smirk on their face. Sooji walked up to my bed and took up my notebook. She laughed as she ripped out my notes and threw them onto the floor, “Are these your notes for your exams? Oops! It’s a little ripped; I hope you don’t mind.” I snatched my notebook back and flipped back a few pages and silently started to take notes again. Sooji picked up my textbook and threw it on the floor, “Are you ignoring me right now? You know I could get you fired in less than 2 minutes!” I stared at her and ordered through gritted teeth, “Get out.” They didn’t budge, and that was the last straw. I repeated myself once more. Only this time, more aggressively. “I said, get out! GET OUT!” and pushed each and every one of them out the door. I slammed the door and slid down the door. Outside my room, they banged on the door and cursed me out. I flung open the door and shouted, “If you want to come in so badly, COME IN! I’LL LEAVE!” I ran out of the house. I walked through the empty streets, trying to hold myself from crying again.

I plodded through the empty park until I couldn’t walk anymore. My legs were so tired and just gave up on me at that point. I squatted down and buried my face in my hands and started weeping. I heard someone’s footsteps come near me and realized that it was going to be humiliating to be spotted crying in the middle of the park at night.  _ Great. Getting caught by a random stranger or even worse someone I knew, would be the icing on the cake to finish off this dreadful day. _ I tried to catch my breath, but it was easier said than done. “You okay?” I heard I.M’s low voice echo in my ear. This time, his voice was warmer and I looked up to see a worried expression match it. I didn’t reply because it was I.M and I didn’t have any energy to respond. He squatted down next to me and started to awkwardly yet gently stroke my hair. I was appalled by his unusual behavior. He lightly tapped me to get my attention and as I looked up, he handed me his handkerchief, which I held tightly in my hands. Right then, he turned my face to face his direction. For the first time, I saw his face and met his eyes. I felt my face warming up; I hoped he wouldn’t notice or just assume that it was because I was crying.


	9. Falling head over heels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soju is a Korean drink which is clear like water. However it is very strong and has similar taste to Vodka. It has 20-24% by volume spirit. It can be very strong especially to people who just have started drinking or people who are weak to alcohol.
> 
> In Korea, convenience stores are very close by from apartments and houses. Almost every neighborhood has several convenience stores walking-distance from houses and apartments. They sell mostly food, snacks and drinks for on the go. Sometimes there might be some convenience stores that will have other items for basic necessities like toothbrushes, toothpaste, hair ties and etc.

11-26-15 (Changkyun)

I left the house with Kihyun calling after me to buy only soju and Minhyuk’s drunk voice in the distance, claiming he wasn’t drunk. I walked into the park, since it was the fastest way to get to the convenience store.  _ Whoa, wait a sec. Was that Jen? _ Before I knew it, I was already jogging back to the park. Jen sat there in the middle of the park, curled into a ball, her face buried into her hands. I didn’t know how to react, especially after what happened earlier today. I admit, I was a total dick, and I was guilty for what I did today. I approached her carefully and asked, “You okay?” She didn’t respond, so I crouched down next to her. I sat there in silence, not knowing how to comfort her. The only thing that I could think of was to stroke her hair awkwardly. She was shaking from all that crying, so I got out my handkerchief and handed it to her. I was expecting her to wipe her eyes with it, but instead, she sat there, clutching the handkerchief tightly.  _ Oh my God, I handed you that for a reason.  _ I reached for my handkerchief and turned her chin in my direction so that she was facing me. I took back the handkerchief in her hands and wiped her tears away. I muttered under my breath, “Wait here for just a minute.” and sprinted to the convenience store. I quickly grabbed a water bottle and paid for it. Then I sprinted back and sat back down beside her. Panting, I opened the water bottle and handed it to her. She took the water bottle and slowly took a sip. She started to calm down and as her breathing came back to a normal state, I asked her. “Are you an outcast?” She looked down at the floor and answered, “Sure, but weren’t you an outcast too during No.Mercy?” She got me right there. Unable to refute with something, I got up and frantically changed the subject, “Aren’t you hungry?” She laughed at the sheepishness in my voice and responded, “Sure, care to treat me with something?” I nodded, and offered her my hand. She grinned, grabbed my hand, and then I helped her back on her feet. 

We strolled through the park to the convenience store. When we entered the store, I walked over to the alcohol section and grabbed two bottles of soju off the shelf. I saw Jen at the register opening her wallet to pay for a measly cup ramen.  _ Funny how she opened  _ **_her_ ** _ wallet when she asked me to treat her. _ I paced over to the register and set down the bottles and handed my credit card, indicating that I was paying for all items. I walked to the back of the store with Jen trailing behind me to cook the ramen using the microwave. While waiting for the ramen to cook, I brought up the question again. “Why are you an outcast?” She looked at me and thought for a minute. She slowly opened her mouth. “I don’t really know. I think the offenders will have a better response since they’re the ones isolating me.” I sensed the awkwardness coming back up, so I quickly changed the subject by coming up with another question, “Can you eat ramen if you’re a trainee?” She carelessly answered, “I got weighed yesterday, therefore I’ll be good for another month.” She gave my bag of soju a quick glance and questioned back, “Then if you’re an idol, is it ok to drink?” She pointed at my bag with the bottles of soju.  _ Valid counterargument.  _ I explained, “Believe it or not, I don’t drink. And I especially hate soju. These are for my members.” Again, it got awkward. I couldn’t bear it anymore, so I asked. “Why are you so awkward around me?” She gawked at me like I was asking the most stupid question. She then started spitting fire at me. “Are you calling that a question? Do you not remember what you did to me today? Actually, why am I still talking to you? I knew I should have asked for a mentor change on the first day.” I was indeed a little (a lot) harsh today, so I apologised. “OK, sorry. I’m sorry for making fun of you and acting like a complete bastard, just in case if you were going to ask what I’m sorry for.” She looked stunned for a bit. She soon regained consciousness and started to sputter out words, “Wait, seriously? You’re apologizing to me right now in that tone like it’s not a big deal? Last time you said ‘it was fine’, you picked on me, you ridiculed me, and made my life a living Hell and now you’re going to apologise? Are you drunk?” I answered, “As I said, I don’t enjoy drinking. Here, I’m really sorry for the way I’ve been acting for the past few days.” I stuck out my hand in apology. She gawked in disbelief and asked, “Do you really want me to just shake hands with you and get over this?” I sheepishly said, “I guess, if you want to put it that way. Let’s really try hard for the remainder of this next week and a half.” She eyed my hand suspiciously, but soon wrapped her hand around my fingers.  _ Damn, she had some tiny-ass baby hands. _ Despite her tiny hand, she almost crushed it instead of “shaking” it. I yelped in pain. Then I whispered, “Shit, that fucking hurts! Why’d you grab my hand so damn hard?” She smirked with satisfaction and threw the empty ramen bowl in the trash. After that, we left the store. Since it was late, I accompanied her back to her dorm. When we got to her dorm, she said, “Good night, Changkyun sunbae”. I guess she was tired; her voice sounded a little different from her usual light, airy voice. It was sweet as always, but this time heavier and husky, reminding me of rich vanilla. My heart skipped a few beats at her tone and my face warmed up a bit. Thankfully the darkness shielded my face. By the time I regained my state, she was heading toward the entrance. When she was halfway there, she suddenly paused. As if she had something to say, she turned her head around to face me. I approached her and she warned, “You better not take me out of school again.” I smiled and nodded, “I promise, I won’t.” She grinned in satisfaction and finally retired for tonight. I stood there in awe, looking down at my now red hand. I blushed, and my mind replayed Soo-ah’s grin.  _ I think I just fell head over heels for someone. _

11-26-15 (Jen)

He extended his hand toward me. I stared at it in complete shock. I didn’t know if he was actually being serious, or if he just wanted to make fun of me again. I debated on whether or not I should accept his apology. I asked, “Do you really want me to just shake hands with you and get over this?” He answered, “I guess, if you want to put it that way. Let’s really try hard for the remainder of this next week and a half.” I took his hand, and squeezed it hard until I saw him visibly wince in pain. He tried to hold it in for a bit, but I guess he couldn’t stand the pain. He soon pried his hand loose and he hissed under his breath, “Shit, that fucking hurts! Why’d you grab my hand so damn hard?” I knew I got him good, and I was pleased for getting a small revenge. I threw away my empty bowl and headed out. I tried to part ways with him, but he insisted that he should accompany me, for it was late. It was true, and I didn’t want to be placed in a risky situation. When we arrived at my dorm, I told him good night before heading toward the entrance. Then I stopped midway and warned, “You better not take me out of school again.” He gave me a satisfactory response and I went back on my way to the dorm. As I was riding the elevator, I replayed the conversation with I.M in my brain. I couldn’t believe it. I literally talked to I.M like that, and I knew he was going to kill me tomorrow. Nevermind him acting drunk, for now I was acting like the drunk one. By the time I entered the dorm, luckily everyone seemed to be asleep. So I crept into my room, quiet as a mouse. I quickly changed out of my clothes and washed up for bed.

11-27-15 (Jen)

I woke up in the morning and changed slowly, dreading the fact that I.M was probably going to kill me today and torture me for the rest of the mentoring session. I picked up Jooheon’s scarf and tiptoed out, trying not to wake the other trainees up. I arrived at Starship ten minutes before my practice, so I thought I had time to return his scarf. When I got to Jooheon’s studio, I found the door open; he wasn’t in the room. In disappointment, I trudged up to I.M’s studio and stopped in front of the door. _What was I going to say to him? What if he mentioned something about yesterday?_ I paced back and forth, thinking about what I was going to do and what he might do to me. _Wait, why do I care so much?_ _I’ve already seen the worst of him, so why was I so scared?_. I told myself: _you have nothing to lose anyways and it’s just a week and a half_. Again, it was a whole week and a half. I stood up straight and was ready to knock when the door opened and I.M’s head popped out the door. He asked, “What are you doing?” I nervously sputtered, “Um, I was about to walk in.” He raised an eyebrow and scolded, “You’re a minute- well, now two minutes late.” I apologised quickly, entered his studio, and sat down. He glanced at the scarf I was holding and asked, “Isn’t that Jooheon hyung’s scarf?” I knew I wasn’t capable of returning it to Jooheon without making a fool of myself. I politely asked, “Could you give it to him for me, please?” His eyes shifted from the scarf to me. He then sarcastically responded, “Sure. While I’m at it, do you want me to ask him out for you?” I tried to keep calm and answered, “Nevermind, I’ll just return it myself.” _Damn it, I was an idiot for asking you, nonetheless ever thinking that you’d pass it to him._ He extended his hand, palm facing up. I just looked at it, not knowing what he wanted. He sighed and said, “Give me the damn scarf already.” I quickly handed him the scarf and he hastily threw it onto the ground. _Here we go again with his temper._ I picked it up and folded it neatly again and said, “You’re going to get it dirty.” I could tell he was frustrated as he ran his hair through his hair. He snatched the scarf back and lightly put it down on his desk and growled, “Are you satisfied now?” I didn’t reply because I was scared of him and it wasn’t going to be good if I did reply. He glared at me, “Aren’t you going to start?” I put on a tight smile and nodded. I put on my headphones and started rapping as usual. Surprisingly, he actually let me rap through the entire song and gave me actual critiques. I was seriously wondering if he was still drunk from last night. At the end of our session, he said, “Good work today.” I couldn’t believe it. There was no way in Hell this guy was in his right mind. He was clearly still hungover. I turned around and looked at him appalled and he gave me a smile, revealing his tiny dimples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! This story is getting somewhere at last! Someone might be getting jealous.


	10. A Change

11-27-15 (Changkyun)

When I got to my dorm, I placed the bottles of soju on the table and walked into my room. I laid in bed, thinking about Jen. From the way her fingers wrapped around mine and the way she talked back to me left me dazed. I must be drunk; my brain was filled with thoughts of her. And I said stuff that I normally wouldn’t say. I even apologised to her! What was I thinking?! She was driving me insane and I loved the feeling, no matter how much I wanted to deny it.  _ Damn, guess I’m screwed for tonight.  _

11-28-15 (Changkyun)

I woke up and walked into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. I must’ve spaced out; before I knew it, I heard Kihyun’s frantic voice. “Hey, your glass is overflowing!” I looked down to see my overflowing cup and put the water jug down. I walked over to my studio and sat down. As I worked on the lyrics for our next comeback, all that was on my mind was last night’s events. They kept replaying in my head. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I pulled up Google on a separate tab and searched up: ‘ _ how to know if you like someone’ _ . 

The results popped up:

**How to know if you like someone-**

  1. **You think about him/her constantly**



**2: You can’t stop staring at him/her**

**3: You’re not really in the right state of mind because of him/her**

**4: They easily distract you from things**

**5: You get jealous easily**

Nope, none of those counted, therefore I was fine. I looked at the clock which showed 7:31 a.m. I opened the door to see Jen right in front of the door. I quickly hid my shock, “You’re a minute-well, now two minutes late.” I couldn’t help but notice the white scarf she was holding, “Isn’t that Jooheon hyung’s scarf?” I knew it was Jooheon’s scarf, but why did she have it? Then she had the nerve to ask, “Could you give it to him for me?” She still wasn’t giving me the answer I wanted. Why the fuck did she have his shitty scarf? I sarcastically asked her, “Sure, while I’m at it, do you want me to ask him out for you?” I knew I was a bitch for saying that to her, but I couldn’t help. My mind raced back to what I searched before;

_ 5: You get jealous easily-  _ **_Check._ **

She put on a tight smile, “Nevermind, I’ll just return it myself. I was an idiot for asking you.”  _ Ouch, her last sentence kinda hurt.  _ I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I couldn’t say no to her. I extended my hand for the scarf as she just stared at my hand. I growled, “Give me that damn scarf already.” I didn’t even want to look at the stupid scarf. I threw it onto the ground out of irritation. Shocked, she quickly picked it up, lightly dusted it with her hand, and folded it back neatly. She glanced at me and shoved the scarf back into her bag. Exasperated, I looked away and asked through gritted teeth, “Aren’t you going to start?” As she started rapping, I had a change of attitude. I was taking her seriously, taking notes and giving her critiques, surprising her every time. I noticed I was constantly staring at her. Wait,

_ 2: You can’t stop staring at her-  _ **_Check._ **

At the end, before my mind could even stop it, the words flew out of my mouth, “Good work today.” I looked at the computer screen, pretending to work so that at least she wouldn’t see my red face. She turned around, giving me a concerned look, “Sunbae, are you sure you didn’t drink?” I swiveled my chair around and deadpanned, “I told you, I didn’t.” She walked out as I sat back in my chair and exhaled. As I “worked”, I kept thinking about her and kept getting distracted, not being able to finish anything. I wasn’t in my right state of mind right now.

_ 1: You think about him/her constantly-  _ **_Check._ **

_ 4:They easily distract you from things-  _ **_Check._ **

_ 3: You’re not really in the right state of mind because of him/her-  _ **_Check._ **

That was all five; it was clear that I liked her.  _ Oh, shit.  _


	11. That means he likes you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I forgot I had to update today and now I'm uploading. Enjoy!

11-27-15 (Jen)

There was no way that I.M was in his right mind. A person simply can’t just change in a day like that. Sure, I did blow up at him, but come on. I knew he had something up his sleeve and I wasn’t ready for it. I tossed and turned in bed, imagining the worst possible scenario.

  
11-28-15

I barely got any sleep last night, but I still had to go to school. I was changing into my uniform when I heard my laptop ding. It was an email from I.M; it said: 

_ “Run over to my studio as soon as school ends.” _

_ Great.  _ I stuffed a change of clothes into my backpack for practice and left the room. I walked into the kitchen to grab a water bottle, but found all the trainees in there laughing. As I quietly walked in, they shushed and just glared at me. I quickly picked up a water bottle and ran out.

I arrived at school and met Jisoo. She darted up to me, “Oh my god Soo-ah! Why weren’t you here on Wednesday? What happened with you and I.M? You got caught pretty good so you couldn’t make any excuses!” I rolled my eyes and lightly punched her in the arm, “He took me out of school because apparently I needed extra help. He’s been acting like a complete bitch so far and I’m hating every minute of it. I’m just counting down the days until we change mentors.” Jisoo laughed, “Hey, be careful when you talk about him; he might be behind you anytime.” We walked over to the school store to buy ourselves milk and cookies (I only got milk because I needed to control my weight; I am a trainee after all). Then a question hit me, “Hey Jisoo, what do you think it means when someone just suddenly changes? Like, they just act in a completely different way to you.” She raised an eyebrow, “Why, is he acting different around you? How?” I covered her mouth and hissed, “No! I never said it was him who was acting differently. I just asked what does it mean when SOMEONE is acting strange.” She wasn’t buying it, but continued. “Ok listen, you’re lying and I know it. When someone is acting different, it means they’re going to die soon.” I rolled my eyes, and again asked, “What if they’re only 19?” I wanted to kick myself right then. That was literally me telling her that I was talking about I.M. She smiled mischievously and whispered in my ear, “That means he likes you.” I slapped her back, “You’ve read too many romance novels.” and we walked back into our class.

Time flew in class; all we were doing was reviewing notes and going over textbook chapters for our tests. During lunch, I sat down with Jisoo and our group of friends. She loudly gossiped everything that I told her to all of our friends. I kicked her hard underneath the table, indicating for her to shut up. She stuck out her tongue and continued, “If he’s suddenly being nice, doesn’t that mean he likes her?” Thank goodness she never mentioned his name but she didn’t have to tell the whole world. I shoved a spoon full of rice into her mouth and said through gritted teeth, “Shut up!” All they did was giggle at my reaction. As we walked back, she asked, “Since it’s Friday, you don’t have practice until 6:30, right? Can we hang out today?” I sighed and responded, “Can’t, I have a mentoring session.” She patted my shoulder and winked, “Have fun!” Gosh, she can get really annoying at times. I sat at my desk, calculating the amount of time I would have between after school and the starting time of my mentoring session. School ends at 3:30 and it takes 20 minutes to get to the building. It would be 14 minutes if I sprinted all the way there. The best way to arrive on time for mentoring would probably be changing out of my uniform after getting into the building. 

As soon as the bell rang, I darted out the door toward the building. I rushed in through the door as he stared at me. Well, more at my uniform. He managed to ask, “Did you just run all the way from school?” Completely out of breath, I sputtered out my answer. “Yeah, because you told me to come as soon as school was over.” He laughed, “Wow, I’m touched! I didn’t expect you to do as I asked the first time, especially to the point of sprinting here as soon as school was over.” I was still out of breath as he laughed once again, “Are you going to practice in that?” I retorted, “Of course not. I brought a change of clothes; I’ll be back in a minute.”


	12. Wow I'm touched

11-28-15 (Changkyun)

I watched as Jen rushed through the door. I gawked at her outfit because she looked like she sprinted from school. “Did you come here from your school?” I asked. She responded while trying to catch her breath at the same time, “Yeah, because you told me to come as soon as school was over.” I couldn’t help but smile, “Wow, I’m touched! I didn’t expect you to do as I asked the first time, especially to the point of sprinting here as soon as school was over.” I tried to hold in my laughter; she was too cute. “Are you going to practice in that?” She answered in an obvious tone, “Of course not. I brought a change of clothes. I’ll be back in a minute.” She smiled over her shoulder and left. I felt like I was going insane. My heart started beating quickly. She came back with glasses, her usual oversized sweater, and leggings. She sat down and announced, “Oh right, I forgot to tell you this. I have to take my headshot on Tuesday, so I might be a little late. I hope you won’t mind.” I nodded while looking at the computer screen. I muttered, “That’s fine.” I looked up to see her face, inches away from mine. I jerked and looked away, avoiding eye contact. She stared at my face with a concerned expression, “Are you sick? You’re acting way too different from your usual self.” I shook my head. “I feel fine. I don’t think I’m sick.” The next thing I knew, her hand was on my forehead. Before I knew it, I was blushing uncontrollably. “You don't have a fever. Then does your throat hurt?” Now it was my turn to give a tight smile this time, “I’m fine. I don’t have a fever, nor do I have a cold. Wait, why are you caring so much?” She looked away and answered too quickly. She mumbled, “I wasn’t worrying... I’m just scared you might get me sick.” I rolled my eyes, knowing that she was lying.

I was about to hit my breaking point; I don’t want to like her. More like I couldn’t; I don’t have any control over my feelings. I guess I had feelings for her for almost 2 years.  _ Why was it her, out of all people? Why doesn’t she ever give me attention? Why does she like Jooheon, but not me? _ I stared at Jooheon who was in the bunk next to mine.  _ What was so special about him? What did he have that I didn’t? _

11-29-15

We had a normal session like always. As I walked home, I couldn’t feel any worse than I did. She literally asked me for advice; which meant she was friend-zoning me. I walked into the convenience store and bought 4 bottles of soju. I trudged into the dorm, sat down, and started opening the bottles. Kihyun was the first one to find me drinking and shouted, “What the hell? Are you seriously drinking?” Minhyuk, Hyungwon, and Shownu came out, gaping at me. I could feel myself getting drunk, but I honestly didn’t care. After 3 bottles, I don’t know what happened.

11-29-15 (Jen)

It was the regular, I got a mentoring session and walked home. When I got home, I once again started studying until Sooji came in. She started kicking everything off the shelf and knocked things off my nightstand, trying to get my attention. She warned, “If you ignore me, you'll be sorry.” I got up and started putting my things back in place. I guess she was just not having it today. She normally didn’t get physical, but today was different. She started nudging my forehead with her finger. Again, I ignored her. Then all of a sudden, she grabbed my hair so hard that it tipped my head back. I gave her a shriek in return because that was what she wanted, plus it does hurt when a random person just pulls your hair. “Stop! The hell is wrong with you? Do you feel good every damn time you do this? Do you just do this because you’re bored, or are you just pathetic? Every time you do this, nothing changes!” I had enough, and I ran out to cool off. I headed to the neighborhood playground, only to find I.M sitting on the bench. I walked over and realised he was drunk. The stench of alcohol was so strong that I was able to smell it from 6 feet away. 

“Are you okay, sunbae?”

“Why do you only give Jooheon hyung attention?”

“What?” 

“What does he have that I don’t?”

“Sunbae, you’re acting like you got rejected by someone.”

He was being ridiculous. I concluded that the easiest way to shut him up quickly was probably sending him home. 

“I asked, what is so great about Jooheon?”

“Sunbae, give me your phone so I can call up one of your members.”

I reached for his phone when suddenly his lips met mine. I froze in shock and prayed in my head, hoping this was a complete nightmare. 


	13. How do you feel about Changkyun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I totally forgot! Enjoy

11-30-15 (Jen)

I sat there with his lips on mine and hoped that this was all just a dream. Well, not exactly a dream, but a nightmare. This guy was drunk and he was kissing me. I had to push him off, but I was too shocked to do so. Luckily, I regained my senses quickly and managed to pull away. I grabbed his phone and took his hand to unlock his phone. I called the first person I found on his call log, which was Kihyun.

“Hello?”

“What the hell, Changkyun? Where the fuck are you?”

“Hello sunbae, I’m a trainee, and well uh, it’s a long story, He's about to black out any second.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine. Where is he right now?”

“He’s at the park.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Within 2 minutes, Kihyun sunbae jogged over to the bench we were sitting at. He apologised, 

“Sorry, he normally doesn’t drink. I don’t know what got into him. Hey, Im Changkyun, stand up!”

I helped I.M stand up and saw him leave with his arm around Kihyun. I came out to cool off, but instead, I was even more stressed.  _ What was his problem? _ I replayed my conversation with Kihyun and couldn’t help but think,  _ I guess he wasn’t lying if even Kihyun sunbae said he normally doesn’t drink _ . I walked back home, tangled in a jumble of thoughts. I fell onto my bed, but once again, I couldn’t fall asleep because of him. I mean, how could I? He took away my first kiss! He was the last person on Earth I’d kiss. I kicked my blanket off to the side in frustration.  _ Thank goodness tomorrow was Sunday; I’ll have the whole day off.  _

12-01-15

This morning, I got an email from Jisoo, who asked to meet up since it was my off-day. I agreed to meet up. As I got ready, but that damn moment from last night kept replaying in my mind. I tried blocking it out, but my mind wasn’t listening. I started regretting my choice to go to the park last night. I dressed in jeans, a blouse, and ankle boots. I then grabbed my coat and walked out quickly before anyone woke up. I met Jisoo at a different cafe, for I can’t afford to get caught talking shit behind his back again. 

“Soooo, how’s it going with I.M?”

“Don’t even talk about it. He literally talked crap for 15 minutes, completely drunk last night.”

I purposefully left out the minor detail because I was still embarrassed over it.

“Whoa, y’all met up separately last night? What did he say?”

“I don’t know, it seemed like he got rejected by someone. Apparently, he normally doesn’t drink, so it must’ve been bad.”

“So did you leave him there by himself?”

“No, not exactly. I called up Kihyun to take him home.”

I kept my attention on my drink to avoid answering as many questions as possible. Jisoo seemed to have undermined my tactic, so she snatched my drink away and started shooting out questions.

“So what exactly did he say?”

“He was whining about the girl who rejected him.”

“Ooh, who’s the girl?”

“I don’t know; I didn’t ask him who he liked.”

“Tell me everything he said.”

“He just started shouting stuff like why she didn’t give him attention and such.”

“Hmmm, do you think it might be you who he likes?”

“Ew, no way!”

“Did he ever tell you he got rejected?”

“Not directly, but it was something you could tell by the context.”

“Did anything else happen? Like.. Ooh, maybe y’all **kissed** ?”

“Yeah, he kissed me first! Augh, and I was just reaching for his pho-”  _ Oh shit.. _ “Please forget everything I just said,” I pleaded.

“Oh, my fucking god! Y’all actually kissed?!”

“Shut up! Geez, you’re so loud! Besides, he was drunk, so it means nothing! It was more like a peck rather than an actual kiss!”

“I can’t believe that my bias is now taken by ugh,  _ you _ .”

“It was a pure mistake; nothing more, nothing less.”

“Hmmm….I don’t think kissing late in the night is ‘PURE’.. ”

“As I said, it was a peck! It wasn’t a kiss.”

“Are you sure, because I think your lips look a little bruised.”

I touched my lips and stammered,

“It wasn’t anything like that. For the last time, he was completely drunk. He wasn’t himself.”

“Hey, don’t forget, you found him drunk and got a kiss from him.”

“Please shut the fuck up before I strangle you.”

“You know what I find strange though? He hated you for this whole week and all of a sudden, he is being nice to you. But him falling in love with you all of a sudden is also weird too. Did y’all ever see each other before?”

“Yeah? Around 2014, when he first came in as a new trainee.”

“Did y’all have any chemistry?”

“Of course not, we only talked a few times over a few weeks. Nothing special.”

“That’s strange. How can a person change that easily? It’s not like you have a good personality or a pretty face. And you’re scrawny.”

“Wow, so flattering. Thanks a lot.”

“You’re welcome ;)) Hey, but how do YOU feel about Changkyun?”

11-30-15 (Changkyun)

I woke up, completely wasted. I groaned as a wave of nausea washed over me. Kihyun noticed me and said from his bed,

“Oh, you’re up.”

I asked, “What happened last night? How did I make it into bed?”

“Do you not remember anything?”

“No?”

“You better thank that trainee of yours and apologise.”

“Why? What did I do? Which trainee?”

“You know the trainee you’re mentoring right now. The short one. You were completely drunk when I arrived. Good thing you had your phone.”

I laid down, trying to remember the events from last night when it hit me. The memories came flooding in. 

“SHIT!”

“What, Changkyun?”

I didn’t respond because I was too busy thinking about what I did. How could I respond when I kissed her? How was I going to see her face? I kicked up my blankets and started rolling on my mattress from humiliation. How was I going to talk to her now? I was screwed. Kihyun asked again,    
  


“Why, do you remember now?”

“Yeah, and I’m screwed.”

  
The moment kept replaying in my head. Me kissing her and her eyes widening. I pulled my blanket up to my head thinking about what I was going to do. I was never going to live through that embarrassment; I couldn’t bear it. I spent the whole day trying to think about how I was going to face her, talk to her, or mentor her. I stayed under my blankets the entire day, trying to think of something, but I couldn’t.  _ Should I act like I don’t remember? Yeah, I could just act like I didn’t remember anything because I was too drunk to remember.  _ That would be an understandable explanation, and she would probably understand, right?


	14. No, you look nice

12-02-15 (Jen)

“Hey, but how do YOU feel about Changkyun?”

I was speechless. I wasn’t expecting a question like that. 

“He’s just a sunbae.”

“But what if he asked you out?”

“That would never happen, and you are just being delusional at this point.”

The whole day, Jisoo’s question and the moment when I.M kissed me kept creeping into my mind.  _ Honestly though, could I call it a kiss? I wasn’t expecting to have my first kiss with him, but why did HE have to kiss me? I shouldn't have gone to the park. How am I supposed to see his face tomorrow? What if he remembered what happened? But again what if he didn’t remember? _ The best scenario as of now would probably be him not remembering. Judging from the amount of alcohol he drank, he most likely won’t remember. 

I walked into his recording studio after school but he wasn’t in there yet. I waited for 10 minutes before he walked in. When my eyes met his, my face started growing red. I quickly turned back around trying to cool my face off. He sat down nonchalantly, and said,

“Oh right, sorry about yesterday. Kihyun told me that I was completely drunk when he came, so if I made a mistake, I apologise.”

Thank the lord he didn’t remember.

“No, you didn’t do much. I called Kihyun sunbae up as soon as I saw you.”

I lied through my teeth. I returned my gaze to the computer screen and tried to record but I kept making mistakes. I apologised as he just chuckled in response.

“It’s fine, take your time”

He was really acting differently nowadays. More nicer, more gentle. 

When I got home, all I could think about was I.M. He was completely driving me crazy; I was confused about the way I was feeling about him. I was not going to let him shake me up because of some stupid kiss. It meant absolutely nothing and it never will, or could it?

  
  
  


12-02-15 (Changkyun)

Jen was in school until 3:30 and wouldn’t be here until 3:50. I lost track of time, so I ended up walking in a little later than usual. As soon as I saw Jen, her face flushed. She faced back to her computer screen and I apologised as if I didn’t remember much,

“Oh right, sorry about yesterday. Kihyun told me that I was completely drunk when he came, so if I made a mistake, I apologise.”

She lied,

“No, you didn’t do much. I called Kihyun sunbae up as soon as I saw you.”

She must have been quite disturbed, because she kept messing up. She constantly apologised; I didn’t blame her one bit. Guilt rushed through my body, and I knew she must’ve been so shocked. I answered,

“It’s fine. Take your time.”

Right before she left, she reminded me,

“Remember, I have to take my headshot tomorrow.”

After she left, I exhaled a sigh of relief. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment. I still couldn’t believe my dumbass actually kissed her that night. I felt like a complete bastard as my mind kept replaying the moment when her eyes widened in shock. I sighed asking myself,  _ what the hell is wrong with you, Im Changkyun? _ I was being pathetic and I was going to have to snap out of it. I can’t date a trainee; it could ruin my entire life as an idol and that was never going to happen. It can’t happen. I’ve worked too hard for this opportunity, and I wasn’t going to let this go to waste. I put my head down on my desk, groaning, hoping the rest of the day would end quickly.

12-03-15

I stayed up the whole night at my studio, just working. I was immediately regretting it because I was too tired to do anything. I put my head down, knowing Soo-Ah was going to be around an hour late. I dozed off until someone lightly tapped my shoulder. I shook the hand off my shoulder. It must have been thirty minutes later when I finally got myself to wake up. When I opened my eyes, there was Soo-Ah pacing back and forth. I asked,

“What are you doing?”   
  


She looked startled as she sat down.

“You’re awake. I was trying to wake you up but you seemed kind of tired sooo, I couldn’t find a way to wake you up. Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worked all night. It’s fine if you wake me up. Next time, do whatever you need to.”

She nodded quietly and turned on the computer. She looked different from usual; she wore makeup and her hair was curled, probably from taking her headshot. She had noticed me staring at her. She said,

“I didn’t have time to erase my makeup and I thought I would let the curls fall out on its own.”

“I wasn’t looking at you weird or anything.”

“Oh, I thought that you were judging me or something.”

“No, you look nice.”

She blushed, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling. A little part of me was glad that I had managed to make her smile. The last time I saw her smile was when she was with Jooheon, but this time, she was with me. For the first time, I was the one who made her smile. 


	15. Bad timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS IT IS I! I'm not dead...YET. Well, I will be doing double uploading today. I know I haven't been posting for Ctrl+Z and I will finish that and will hopefully be posting by next week. Enoy this chapter and thanks for reading this cringy cliche-ass shit! Love y'all!

12-2-15 (Jen)

The photoshoot ended earlier than I expected, so I had a lot of time left. I walked over to I.M’s studio, only to find him sitting at his desk, head down, and fast asleep. I awkwardly tapped his shoulder to wake him up. I guess he was extremely exhausted, for he groaned and nudged my hand away in response. I didn’t know how I was going to wake him up now. I paced back and forth for 20 minutes, tapping him lightly every now and then, hoping he would wake up. However, he was sound asleep. I left him alone for another ten minutes until he slowly opened his eyes and asked,

“What are you doing?”

I quickly sat down.

“You’re awake. I was trying to wake you up but you seemed kind of tired sooo, I couldn’t find a way to wake you up. Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have worked all night. It’s fine if you wake me up. Next time, do whatever you need to.”

I hadn’t realised how tired he looked the past few days. He was still good looking, but under his eyes were plagued with dark circles. I could feel him staring at me, and I knew it was because of my makeup and hair.

“I didn’t have time to erase my makeup and I thought I would let the curls fall out on its own.”

I had more makeup than usual and even though my hair was naturally wavy, it was obvious my hair right now wasn’t natural. He guessed that I was offended because he quickly responded,

“I wasn’t looking at you weird or anything.”

“Oh, I thought that you were judging me or something.”

_ Great job Soo-Ah, now you just made him sound like a complete bastard. _ Right then, he said something unexpected,

“No, you look just fine.”

At his compliment, I blushed while trying to stop myself from smiling at the same time. I was enjoying receiving his compliments. This was so weird. I never felt this way, not even when I fell for Jooheon. I mean, I couldn’t really call my feelings toward Jooheon a crush though. It was closer to a sense of comfort. I liked him because when everything was really hard with I.M and Sooji, he was always there to cheer me up. These days, I.M had really been complimenting me, actually mentoring me, and was more gentle. He was different from the guy I used to call a bastard, the guy I talked bad about, and the guy I dreaded to see everyday. Now, he was one of the reasons I looked forward to the next day. He was smiling more often and was more comfortable around me; I was comfortable around him too. I couldn’t like him though, the day he found out about my feelings, I was going to die of embarrassment. What was wrong with me? Was I liking this sunbae just because he was a little nice to me?

12-2-15 (3rd person view)

Sooji was sitting in an empty training room, thinking about how much closer Soo-ah was to Changkyun now. She couldn’t handle seeing Soo-ah have anything but misery. It’s not like she still liked Changkyun, but she used to. She threw her bag across the room.  _ Why is it always Soo-Ah? What’s so great about that bitch? Why is it her that I.M liked for 2 years? Why is it her who he’s giving his attention to all the damn time? Why was the company always choosing her as the main rapper? Why is she always the center? Did everybody forget who I was? I’m the daughter of Starship's chairman! I am Ahn Sooji! What is so fucking great about Han Soo-ah that everybody’s attention has to be on her? I’m never going to let that bitch debut with me. Either she leaves, or I’ll make sure she is kicked out. But first, getting Changkyun off of her is my first priority.  _ She thought of how to make sure Changkyun was off of Soo-Ah. An idea clicked in her head. She strolled over to Changkyun’s studio where he sat alone in front of his computer.

She came in without knocking as Changkyun glared at her. Changkyun absolutely hated her; Sooji always used her dad for everything. He proceeded to ignore her as she started chirping in her sickeningly “sweet” tone.

“Hi sunbae. I haven’t seen you in a while. Last time I saw you, I admit I was pretty rude, but I have an explanation.”

“I don’t want to hear it, please get out.”

“Sunbae, I didn’t like the way you complimented Soo-ah while you criticised me. I still have feelings for you, just like those from 2 years ago.”

“Quit barking, and I remember telling you to leave.”

“Sunbae, please.”

“This is the third time, leave.”

In the meantime, Soo-ah walked out of the building and realised her wallet was missing. It must have fallen out of her bag as she left. She reentered the building and walked each step back up.

“Changkyun oppa, I really like you.”

“Well too bad, you disgust me and I don’t like you..”

Sooji hugged Changkyun, and at the same time, there was a knock and the door opened to reveal Soo-ah. She said,

“Sorry Sunbae, I left my wa-”

Changkyun watched in horror as Soo-ah dropped her bag. She gawked at Sooji, who was still hugging Changkyun. Soo-ah turned around and muttered, “Sorry for interrupting, I didn’t know y’all were...talking. I’ll come get my wallet tomorrow.”

She rushed out the door frantically as Changkyun pushed off Sooji. 

“What the hell?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t control myself.”

Sooji lied, trying to sound apologetic. Changkyun grit his teeth and growled in fury as he pushed Sooji out of his studio room.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double upload! Well enjoy and can y'all do me a favor? Would you mind turning on day6's I like you for bgm? Thank you. The song just fits so well with this chapter. Thanks for reading my cringy gay-ass cliche fucked up fanfic

12-2-15 (Jen and Changkyun switch)

“Sorry I left my, wa-”

I quickly picked up my bag,

“Sorry for interrupting, I didn’t know y’all were...talking. I’ll get my wallet tomorrow.”

I walked out of the building, feeling like a complete dumbass. Tears flowed like a river from my eyes. _ Why didn’t I notice that he liked Sooji? Come on, were you really thinking he liked you? If he did, he would have said something.  _

~Changkyun’s POV~

“Sorry for interrupting, I didn’t know y’all were...talking. I’ll get my wallet tomorrow.”

She rushed out the door frantically as I pushed off Sooji. 

“What the hell?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t control myself.”

I couldn’t take her bullshit anymore, so I pushed Sooji out of my studio. As I stood in the empty room, a voice within me was screaming at me.  _ What are you doing, Im Changkyun? Go find Soo-ah! Explain what happened. Run, you fucking dumbass. It’s literally now or never; don’t blow it. _ Even if it was going to ruin my ego, I felt the need to explain. I sprinted down the flights of stairs and luckily, she was not that far off. I grasped her wrist and turned her around to face me. A sense of hurt was written all over her face. I demanded between gasps of air,

“How can you just leave that quick?”

“Because I interrupted you while you were.. busy with your girlfriend?”

“No, she’s not my damn girlfriend.”

“Well, have a good night then. Sorry for interrupting whatever you were doing with her.”

“I wasn’t doing anything with her. She was the one who suddenly hugged me; I don’t like her.. You don’t even know how I feel.”

With a look of suspicion, she said, “Sunbae, you can be completely honest with me.”

I shouted if it were my last words before death. “What else is there to say? I remember everything from that night. The kiss was an accident, but I meant everything I said. I don’t like it whenever you only look at Jooheon hyung. It hurts me to see you staying still when Sooji bullies you like her life depends on it. I always look forward to seeing you everyday; now I can’t hide my feelings anymore. I like you.”

Her eyes grew large in shock, and she started stuttering,

“N-No, you’re joking right? You-You’re just trying to p-play one of your pranks again.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

I looked her straight in the eye. She stood there, speechless.

~Jen’s POV~

“What else is there to say? I remember everything from that night. The kiss was an accident, but I meant everything I said. I don’t like it whenever you only look at Jooheon hyung. It hurts me to see you staying still when Sooji bullies you like her life depends on it. I always look forward to seeing you everyday; now I can’t hide my feelings anymore. I like you.”

I was flabbergasted. Instead of replying, my mind went completely blank. He crouched down and looked me in the eye. When I just stood still, he looked away, covering his face with the palm of his hand and sighed,

“If you don’t reply, I’m taking it as a no. At least I got to say what I wanted; I don’t regret my choice.”

I was too shocked to reply. He turned around and started making his way back toward the building. I snapped out of it and asked,

“Wait… What if I say I like you too?”

He walked back toward me and intertwined his hand with mine. He then smiled at me and wrapped his free hand around the back of my neck; before we knew it, our lips met. He whispered,

“Then you’re mine now, and no one else’s.”

“In that case, I guess I’m yours now.”

I saw him smile, but he soon bit his lips to stop smiling. I asked him a question.

“Before I go, can I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead.”

“What made you tell me this today?”

“I was tired of you constantly running away. I thought it would be now or never to tell you, if that’s what you want to know.”

I don’t know why, but today, his low voice was sweeter to hear than usual. 

I smiled and bid my goodbye for the day. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t stay up like last night. Make sure you sleep tonight.”

He nodded as I quickly walked away feeling a mix of emotions. When I made it to my room, I was too tired. I walked into the restroom to get ready for bed. After washing up, I plopped onto my bed and fell asleep as soon my head hit the pillow.

12-3-15

I woke up with the moment from yesterday constantly replaying in my head.  _ Oh my god, I can’t believe what happened yesterday! Han Soo-ah, are you out of your mind?  _ Like usual, I slowly pulled on my clothes and got ready, thinking about what I was going to say when I walked in. When I got to his studio, I lightly knocked and went in. I sat down awkwardly and said,

“Morning.”

“Good morning, did you sleep well?”

I nodded. Right then, his hand slipped into mine. We interlocked our fingers together as he tilted his head onto my shoulder. As I put in recordings, he kept hugging me from behind, kissing me on the cheek, and holding my hand. I still couldn’t believe it. The guy whom I called a bastard and hated the most in the entire world just a week ago, was now the guy I was dating. The two hours quickly dwindled down to the last ten minutes. As we were finishing up, he started a conversation. 

“Remember two years ago when I first came here?”

“Yeah.”

“I hung around you and kept trying to talk to you.”

“Yeah, you were always nearby me for the first few weeks.”

“Do you know why I was so clingy back then?”

“You weren’t that clingy and no, I didn’t really know. I just assumed you wanted to be friends or something.”

“You are so wrong; I fell in love with you at first sight. You just never gave me attention.”

“You did? I’m sorry, I really didn’t know.”

“It’s fine, since now you’re gonna give me a lot of attention, right?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, Baby Girl.”


End file.
